just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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