i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
