Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you never un-have a 4some
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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