I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
