Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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