Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
