Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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