remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
