She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
