yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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