my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
