I think i peed on brittanys purse
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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