I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
