Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my liver is dry heaving
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
