I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
