don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
