I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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