But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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