Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
