and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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