I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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