He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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