I think I won the penis lottery.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
