I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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