At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
