There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
