It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
