ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
