brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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