just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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