I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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