Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
