I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize