WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
