I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
