it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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