I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
