somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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