Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
