Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
