the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
