in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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