Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
