If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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