I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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