Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
