i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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