I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
