You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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