is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
