They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
