There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
